- “She will love it”
- “It’s will be awesome for her development”
- “They only cry for 5 minutes then they’re fine”
- “It’s good for her to play with other children her age”
- “You don’t want her to be a social pariah”
- “It’s only tough for you, she’ll be fine”
- “I guarantee you, you’ll walk away crying”
I really could keep telling you all day the different comments I’ve been told about my daughter attending day care for the first time. It’s expected, it’s normal, it’s tearing my heart out. Someone asked me today if I was ok, she noticed I wasn’t quite myself and thankfully she asked me over messenger so she didn’t have to deal with the blubbering mess that followed. In 3 weeks, my baby starts her transition into care and I am NOT ready. I’m desperately grasping at straws so I can afford to stay at home with her not have trudge back to work, but nothing is a quick fix. Every source of online income takes time to build, nurture and finally earn money.
I am more than just a breeder, am an achiever and I have so many things I want to achieve. However now I have this little person who I don’t want to leave behind. I want to take her with me, everywhere I go, our lives are so entangled and I love that. I don’t want to walk away from day care jumping for joy and clicking my heels as I feel like I’m free, because she doesn’t make me feel like I’m trapped. I love every minute at home with my baby, she makes me laugh, she keeps me on my toes, she’s exhausting and I even want to be with her when she makes me want to pull my hair out (even when she isn’t doing it for me).
Somehow in our society we’ve made it a norm to pack your kids up and shuffle them into day care for strangers to care for, it’s not a matter of if you’re returning to work, it’s only a matter of when. I also understand that many mothers do this under duress. I cannot tell you how many mothers have told me they cried on the first day, the second day and possibly all week. Eventually everyone gets used to it and they all tote the party lines I opened with.
I had another mum ask me when we were discussing me staying at home, ‘don’t you need an outlet’? Frankly no, I blog, I sew, I meet a mother group once or twice a week, and I’m also working with an amazing woman who’s working toward connecting mum groups so mums of all different aged babes can find each other and enjoy a play time and socialising together. It’s amazing to see how many local mums we’re connecting in our community. This is also making it harder to go back to work because my life is full right now, I know that next year, err.. this year I’m going to be so busy with work and university that I’m going to have to sacrifice some of these things I love doing for myself and my daughter.
If you’re a mum who loves work or free time, and loves day care because if gives you that opportunity, please don’t feel I’m criticising you, or that I judge you for that. I’m maybe a little bit envious that I’m not looking forward to going back to work more. I’m sure that leaving your baby wasn’t easy for you either. I guess I’ll look forward to the future, where I’m sipping coffee peacefully at my work desk enjoying 10 minutes of silence before the day starts. Or the lunch time that I can spend the whole meal at the table only focused on my food. Or all the things I can buy with the extra money I earn. Ha!
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